snack

I’m not hungry.  I use to always have some level of hunger, that “I could eat” feeling, pretty much all the time.  Now I don’t even think about food until I’m actually hungry and sometimes even then I have to force myself to eat something because real hunger isn’t something that I am used to, it feels different – not so urgent.

Sometimes I will even find myself in the fridge looking for something to eat just because it is habit and then realize that nothing sounds good because I’m not hungry.  And now, instead of shoving something in my mouth just to feel better, I close the door and walk away.  Usually it is just boredom or thirst, so I have a glass of water and engage in something.

The one exception is the afternoon, when I inevitably still get my daily sweet craving.  I have been better about the fruit and nut snack in the afternoon, but I still find I am getting urges to stop for a chocolate milkshake or an apple fritter.  Most days I don’t, but I still do sometimes.

The other day I was reading some older posts on the Gabriel Method Forum that I frequent and a woman was talking about how she had switched to flax oil for her omega and her cravings and hunger had returned, so she switched back to fish oil and it all went away again.  I haven’t used flax oil (I prefer to grind them fresh), but I did notice that when I forget to take my omega pills, everything goes a little wonky.

Taking omega fish oil pills really curbs my cravings and keeps me on track.  When I remember to take my supplements that afternoon craving is usually mild and the fruit does the trick, but If I forget to take them with lunch then watch out.  I guess concentrating on remembering to take my supplements needs to be a higher priority.

Why is it so hard for me to form a habit and be consistent about it?  Not beating myself up, just wondering.  It can be pretty damn frustrating sometimes.  This is one of the major things I concentrate on during my visualizations.   It will come.

It’s a funny thing about fear.  Sometimes when you say it out loud and face it directly it recedes and sometimes even disappears all together.  

I would like to thank everyone for the unexpected and very much appreciated outpouring of support.    Your words of  encouragement made a really bad day a whole lot better and gave me the confidence to push past it.  Thank-you.

I wish I could say my fear is gone, but alas that simply isn’t how it is in this case.  But, by owning my weaknesses I have come to understand them a little better and can now move forward with my eyes open.

I wish I could snap my fingers and make the self doubt and mistrust go away, but life doesn’t work that way no matter how much we wish it could be.  The only thing to do now is take one day at a time and enjoy the good ones and let the bad ones go.  I just need to keep moving and find a way to have some success.

I have several ways of going about this.  My freelance business is doing well and I am having success with my therapy.  The next step is giving over to my ability to be thin again.  

It is time to buckle down and really commit to some way of getting healthy.  I talk about this a lot, but each new thing lasts a couple of weeks and then dwindles slowly until it just stops all together.

So, I am committing to the Gabriel Method, which I believe addresses my personal health issues.  I have come up with a plan and although i am not starting completely over like I thought I would have to, I am starting fresh and considering this day 1.

I made myself a sort of sign that I taped to the kitchen cabinets.  On this piece of paper is my meals planned out for the week.  This is not ‘eat this at this time’ but really just a list of good healthy meals that I have planned out in advance and have available to me so when I go to think about what I want for lunch, I can look at the list and see several things to choose from, any of which would be just fine, but steering me away from the dangers of standing in front of the fridge or pantry, hungry and vulnerable.

I also have included a daily schedule of stuff that I need to do, like taking supplements, drinking water, eating a snack, doing visualization, eating the sun and taking a power nap as well as a list of things to remember.  

I will make a new one of these each week to help me remain focused.  

In order for these habits to truly take, I need to do the same set of things every day, not just when I feel like it.  I think that because this is not a diet with a regimented food and exercise plan that it is easy to take the eat what you want when you want for granted.  This doesn’t work if you aren’t listening to what it is your body wants.  

For example, the afternoon rolls around and I always crave sweets then, so even if it isn’t what my body wants I still eat it without really even thinking about it.  Where as if I had just listened and tried a couple of techniques to give my body what it really does want, I might have been able to avoid eating that.  And if after all that I still really craved that sweet treat, then I could have eaten it and enjoyed without guilt, knowing that those cravings will go away on there own with time.

It is really a change in the way I think about it.  This is what happened when I finally quit smoking and I am positive that a fundamental shift in my thinking will be necessary with this as well.  

Much like when I quit smoking for the last time, I must give over to it and accept that this is the way things are going to be from now on, that I have made this decision and there is not turning back from it.

I am not one to try “diet” or “low fat” or “low calorie” foods.  I would much rather enjoy a very small amount of the real thing than a bunch of icky tasting, preservative laden, low this or that crud.  But, popped chips I just couldn’t resist.  What the?

So, the concept is that they air pop the chip.  They have popped corn chips and popped potato chips.  I’ve seen them the last couple trips to trader joes, but haven’t had any desire to do anything low anything.  I’m an emotional eater.

Finally starting to recover from this roller coaster of a summer, I have reluctantly been looking for ways to cut back on my calories a bit.  But,  a girl still needs her salty oily snack (and chocolate too of course, but I still haven’t figured out how to do that low cal) so I decided to give these a try.  And we have a winner!

These popped treats are suprisingly good.  I chose the BBQ flavor, as something low cal is always better with a punch of flavor.  Unlike like their cardboard flavored baked cousins, these chips actually taste like potato chips.

It’s very odd though, don’t get it in your head that these are anything like a real potato chip.  It is really more the texture of a dense funion, which in my book isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  But, whatever they are, they taste like a real potato chips.  And, the BBQ seasoning rocks.

I’m not sure about other brands, but the Trader Joes brand has nothing funky it.  It’s just potatoe, oil and seasoning.  No baking or frying. no preservatives and no shit stain producing pseudo oils.

I would love to be able to link you to a Trader Joes BBQ flavored Popped Potato Chip information page, but alas, nothing like that exists.  So, this is what I’m gonna do.

Find a Trader Joes near you

and…

I am pretty sure (I have absolutely NO proof at all of this – it’s just a little too similar to look past) that TJs licenses these chips from PopChips.