This creates a lack of job performance recognition. I have been feeling undervalued lately. This is a rough time for us and although we are very lucky and blessed in our life, we are struggling right now.
Although it is a lot of pressure, all the responsibility for lifting me up and making me feel valued and validated falls on my husband and this is a little much for him, I think. Unfortunately, there is no one else to help carry this burden. It is his to bear, and I am sorry for that.
I tried to give him an analogy to help him to understand. I asked him to imagine that he went to work every day and no one there ever said he was doing a good job. It would be awful for him, and I think that it helped him to see the reality of the situation. This is our job and validation for being good at our job is just as important for us as it is for anyone else.
Unfortunately, now that I have spoken about it, we now struggle with how to provide me with the support I need without his compliments or statements sounding contrived and trite.
The great thing is that we can have this conversation at all. I feel very fortunate that I feel safe enough and loved enough that I can say that I need more from him. That says a lot about the strength of our relationship. Many don’t have this situation and live alone with all this.
There is this catch 22 about being a stay at home parent. At least for me, i feel guilty if I complain at all. I made this choice and I am very grateful for it, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have hard days, days that I wish I could crawl into bed and not get out till next week. When you have a job outside the home, you come home and discuss the things that are going well and the things that are hard at work. But when I do, i feel guilty. I feel guilty for not enjoying every moment with my children, guilty for complaining about a choice that has been a huge sacrifice for our family, guilty for wanting more for myself. And in response I usually get the suggestion that I go back to work.
I don’t need to go back to work, I need two days by a pool with a foofy umbrella drink or ten.
It is impossible for those not staying home to fully understand the joys and trials that we face every day. There are moments of pure bliss and moments when you feel like you have completely lost all value and substance. It is equally impossible for us to fully understand the stresses that working moms face trying to be and do it all and not feel like they are doing any of it very well.
The hard fact is that being a parent is hard. It just is.
We need to support one another, husband and wife, parent and child, friend and friend. We need to be compassionate and lift each other up and be there for each other, even if we aren’t all the same or make the same choices or parent the same way.
Hugs and kisses and flowers and all that crap.
at one point. I’m so ashamed. It’s a good thing my house isn’t bigger or things might get ugly.
I have made a vow that at some point I am going to create the ultimate workout, incorporating them all. Maybe it will make me millions. I could make quite the circuit workout using the circular floor plan of my house. Hmmm, that’s a thought.
In the meantime, I have just discovered an alternative and fantastic use for all this crap. This morning I pulled out the mini trampoline
By the way, have you caught the The Starter Wife
Anyway, I digress. So, I am making lunch for the kids after preschool today and all of a sudden the wining for food and milk and crackers and “I’m hungry” and “When’s lunch” etc. came to a halt and all I could hear was laughing coming from the living room.
This, I had to check out. What did I find? Ian was happily bouncing on the mini trampoline and Ada had turned over the Bosu Ball
This stuff may go to good use after all. See, I live in Seattle and if you know nothing else about Seattle, you probably know that it rains a lot here. And I mean a lot. It is cloudy and dreary and a stay inside day here more days than not. Why do we live here? You got me? No really, there are lots of really great things about living in Seattle, the weather just isn’t one of them.
Anyway, heading into the winter months with small kids has to have all Seattle moms a little nervous. Without the backyard or neighborhood park at our disposal, how do you keep the kids and yourself from going completely stir crazy? Well, I think that I may have just found myself a solution.
The exercise equipment playground has erected itself in our living room. A little messy? yeah. A little rambunctious? Yeah, but just for a little while and the tired satisfied look of children that just had a good romp and now are ready for a nice long nap is priceless and worth an hour of chaos any day.
And you know the best part? I can’t wait to play with them. Exercise and family fun for everyone. Ahhhh.
We just returned from a weekend at Karli’s parents in Idaho so travel, and all the foods eaten this weekend that were outside of his norm, just put his bms on the fritz.
Have you got a good image yet? Yeah, chunky, loose, undigested food, the whole thing. Nasty.
Now, I have no poop aversion. I have two kids. You don’t have kids without getting over poop being gross, but I have to say this was the worst, most disgusting thing I have had to do in a very long time.
I can’t even go into the details, it just shouldn’t be said out loud.
Karli just looked over at me and asked me what the grimace on my face was all about. I guess it still curls my nose.
Gotta say though, the tub’s never been so clean.
I have always said that it’s a damn good thing that they are so cute at this age or we parents might just lose our shit. There is nothing that can calm my frazzled nerves like a big smile from my littlest one. They have that touch built in, the ability to melt your heart in about 2 seconds. Lucky for him, I say. Hee hee, just kidding. Their perfect angels, really they are.
Is my kid a jerk, or is he just 2?
My son bullies me, insults his mother and once punched an old man in the nuts. I know it’s probably just a phase. But what if it isn’t?
By Christopher Noxon
This also got me ranting in my head about parents and really humans (well at least Americans) in general and how wooshy we have all gotten. Ooh, it gets me riled up, but we will save that for another post.
I was really tired today, for some reason, so really wanted to stick with a one dish meal, so I proceeded with the doctoring.
This was a huge hit with both kids and Ian even at the veggies. Huge! He refuses almost all veggies.
A Better Can of Chicken Noodle Soup
1 can chicken noodle soup
1/4 cup small cubes of the meat of your choice*
1/4 cup frozen peas
1/4 cup finely diced carrots (I chopped up those new bagged shredded carrots and it worked great)
Put it all in a small pan or microwavable bowl. Heat and Serve.
* I used left over pork taco meat and it added just a little bit of Mexican flavor to the soup, which they loved. Any leftover meat with a little seasoning on it would work great for this, ground meat, chicken, pork, whatever. If the meat isn’t seasoned or you have to cook fresh, try adding just a pinch of taco seasoning or some Mrs dash or something.
During the week we get into the normal routine and things are very predictable and structured. Daddy is only around for the first and last part of the day and they get a little bit of play time with him during that time. He loves to play with them, he’s way better and getting down on the floor and really playing than I am, and they look forward to this all day.
So this makes him fun Bobby and when he is home all day they just seem to be more amped up the whole time, like there is something new and exciting around every corner. I also think poor Karli feels like he has to be on all the time too, which isn’t the way it should be either.
Of course, I am not complaining at all. Having Karli home is wonderful and it is so nice to have another set of hands and to be able to do fun things as a family and to get projects done that I simply can’t do by myself.
But the weekend is winding down and my poor kids are about to implode. Ada is a whiny mess and Ian is all amped up one minute and crying in a puddle the next. I wish there was a way that fun and family time wasn’t so exhausting for them, and for us too.
No longer are we rushing down to the local sears and roebuck mail order store (yes, I grew up in a very small town and no I’m not that old it was just a really small town) to pick up our orders from the Sears catalog, but waiting for our latest online order to arrive at our doorstep. But the joy in a little girls eye as she eyes her next absolutely must have, are just the same.
We have been contemplating getting Ada a digital camera as she is almost impossible to take a picture of because she want to know what you are doing and comes running to you to look at the result almost before you have even taken the picture.
But every time we look at the kid friendly options, the price just doesn’t seem worth it, although a camera wrapped in rubber and able to be completely submerged like this one
Then we had an aha moment and realized we still had our old camera in a drawer somewhere (it’s no wonder our house is such a mess). So we handed it over and it is awesome.
She has taken at least 50 photos today, many of the TV and her toy planes, her brother and Pella the dog.
Upside? She is being wonderfully creative, learning to use a fairly complex piece of electronics (I have to say with surprising ease) and observing her surrounding in an all new way. I just love to see her little mind in processing mode.
Downside? If she flashes me or her brother right in the face one more time, I think I might have to scream I also can’t say that having so many mama just out of bed in the morning photos floating around is thrilling me.
The sacrifices we make
I think they have the same nose. They look more alike in these photos than I have seen anywhere.
But, he is like the grubbiest, no care in the world, trouble making menace I have ever met and it is just so damn endearing (well most of the time). He deserves more than the average 1 year old do. But, guess what, that really doesn’t exist in “as short as you can go so I don’t have to come back any time soon”.
So, we went with the phohawk. This wasn’t really a choice. He has an obscene cowlick. “I’ve really never seen anything like it” was the comment from the stylest. It pretty much sticks straight up off the top of his head anyway. Poor little dude.
We took him to the same salon that we did for Ada’s ordeal and once again, I was impressed with their patience, speed and innovation. I highly recommend Fun Kuts in Lynnwood WA
Here are some before and afters…
I love his hair in the picture on top, but it rarely looks like that, it usually looks like the photo on the bottom and that is not nearly as cute. If he has more of his sister’s natural curl I might have trimmed it a little and let it grow some more.
Here’s a couple of photos of the new do. The one on the left is the one they took at the salon. The flash and the red wall completely washed him, on top of his extreme paleness. But it does show what a perfect angel he was. The image on the right is in his favorite chair at home. This was the only one of 10 that wasn’t a complete blur. Oh, boys.
Have I mentioned I can’t for the life of me get his hair to stand up like that for more than about 30 seconds today. No product I have is working. I guess I will have to call and see what they used.
He looks pretty studly huh?
On one of these fitful missions, I was rummaging through the cheese/lunchmeat drawer (you know, the little one in the middle of the fridge) and saw I had salami and mozzerella, tortillas and right above on the shelf was a jar of marinara. Meanwhile, Ada is whining and moaning about how she didn’t get her pizza because we didn’t make it to the Towne Center that day (we do this a couple times a month, the library and slice at our amazing community meeting place)
And wallah! The invention of the Pizza Quesadilla.
This one is great for the kids. Ada loves to help me make these, makes her feel like such a big girl. Her favorite part is to spread the sauce, but eek, make sure you have a paper towel handy.
Pizza Quesadilla Recipe
2 soft taco/fajitas size flour tortillas
2 T Bottled pizza or marinara sauce
6 slices of salami or 10 slices of pepperoni
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1 teaspoon olive oil
Place one of the tortillas on a flat surface and spread the sauce over it evenly with the back of a spoon or a rubber spatula
Spread 1/2 the cheese, then put the salami/pepperoni on, then top with the rest of the cheese.
Top with the other tortilla
drizzle just a bit of olive oil (1/2 teaspoon) in a medium skillet
Remove from pan onto cutting board and let sit for a minute or two. Cut into six pizza slice shaped wedges and serve.
Notes:
- This works just as well with corn tortillas if you or your kids prefer them. I think quesadillas are better with corn tortillas, but of course my kids prefer flour.
- I have a jar of marinara in the fridge at all times. It is oh so flexible. You can use it as a sauce on pasta and chicken of course, but you can also use it when a recipe calls for a couple of tablespoons of tomatoe sauce or to use as a tomato base for any other kind of sauce you may want to make. Kids love to dip pretty much anything in it and of course it makes great pizza sauce for this recipe.
- As far as toppings go, keep it minimal and flat as you will have to flip this in the pan. But other than those rules, you can use anything really. Whatever your kids like or you want to sneak in there. You could chop up some spinach. Thinly sliced mushrooms or onions would work great. Finely chopped chicken is also a good option.
- My daughter prefers orange cheese to white cheese (yes, she’s four) and so I add a little bit of cheddar to the mix, just for the color. Again, be creative, do what works for you.
- It’s important to put a little cheese on the bottom and a little on top. This helps to keep the tortillas from slipping and sliding apart.
In this post I have recommended the Oxo Good Grips Medium Silicone Spatula
Now, onto the skillet. I have three of these pans (two 10″ and one 8″) and they are by and far the best skillets I have ever owned. I love them and they have gone on my short list of things people get as gifts from me.
This recipe is a classic example of how to be creative and whimsical with food, especially with your kids. They will love this one.