flight instinct

After over a week of rededicating myself to The Gabriel Method, I am feeling better and better about it.

The one thing that I have really determined is that the visualisation CD is central to this.  I was really tired one night and really just wanted to snuggle in my soft clean sheets and go right to sleep so I skipped the CD.

The next day I felt a significant difference in my attitude and motivation.   I ate fast food for lunch and really craved some chocolate in the afternoon and was generally not as productive throughout the day.  Now, I am not going back to bad days and good days because that is really unproductive, but on other days when I had listened to the CD the night before, I had no problem making good choices and following through on my plans for the day. 

It has become pretty clear to me that listening to the CD every night, at least in the beginning, is integral to my success.

I am also noticing that when I make poor food choices my body lets me know about it.  Yesterday I had an amazing day out with a good friend.  We went to breakfast and I couldn’t resist having eggs benedict, my absolute favorite.  It was fine and I am not going to feel guilty about splurging, but I could tell that my body wasn’t very pleased with me about it.  So I had a smoothy with whey for lunch which amazingly lasted me till dinner.  After dinner I had a brownie for dessert, which I was really looking forward to but didn’t really do anything for me.  Good to note.  This morning, I woke up feeling nauseous.  Telling, right?

I just need to keep these things in mind when I make decisions about what I am going to eat.  I’d say the eggs benedict was totally worth it, but the brownie definitely wasn’t.  

My major accomplishment for the week was that I was really motivated to stay active and accomplish my daily list.  Almost every day I checked everything off my list, including the cleaning list (and we all know how bad I am at getting that list done).   I also really looked forward to doing something active each day.  I went to yoga on both Monday and Wednesday this week and I took Pella for a long walk on Tuesday and Thursday.  

Ever since we moved here 8 years ago, I have been thinking that walking up to the water reservoir, around and back would be a great walk and quite a workout.  There are some very steep hills and beautiful views at the top.  It is trails most of the way and not a lot of road time.  We don’t have sidewalks where I live so walking on the road can be a little perilous.   

I have always had an excuse as to why it was too far or too hilly or too hard and I have never done it.  This week, I did it.  It was one hour there and back and I felt fantastic.  It was a great workout with several spots that were perfectly suited to a quick sprint to get those flight instincts activated.  It was awesome!

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I haven’t had a bad day in a while and by that I mean a depressed day.  

Yesterday I thought I was getting sick.  Weirdest thing, my nose ran non-stop causing a barrage of sneezes that I thought were going to drive me out of my mind.  Then I popped a 101 fever  with terrible aches and pains for about an hour and then it was gone.  Totally bizarre.

Today, Ian tripped and conked his ear on the coffee table, which threw me into my injury panic and now I am feeling so run down.  My flight instinct kicks in.  I just want to crawl into a hole.  Hmmm.

I also received what I hope is the final final email exchange.  I thought that had happened a couple of weeks ago but my email filter failed and there it was in my inbox.  I guess she just had to have the final word.

I’m not really feeling sad about the whole situation anymore though.  The email was just one more reminder why my decision was the right one.  

I am still having a hard time controlling the physical anger reaction I get when i think about the whole thing, though.  Even though I rationally know and understand my feelings and what the situation means to me, my body just isn’t there yet.

I think my body is overloaded with it’s own response chemicals right now.  My response?  Wallow and eat.

 Joy, aren’t I inspiring.

Until a better day…