I just love this photo. It makes my heart melt a little to think about these kids growing up vacationing together. Excuse my sappiness, but this is what it is all about, building those unforgettable memories with others you truly care about.
Ok, I am going to give it a go…
Last night, Matt and Teresa came over for dinner as they do almost every weekend and for the duration of the evening, we ate and talked and laughed and carried on as we usually do. Around 11:30 they left and Karli and I prepared to go to bed. Karli went to call in the cats as he usually does before bed and he called me to the door.
There was a coyote standing in the middle of the road under the street lamp. Wow, I don’t know if I can do this…
We watched the coyote in awe, we couldn’t figure out what he was doing. He would come to the shadows of our yard and then run across the street again. Then one time he left our yard he carried the limp body of our dear Henry across the street and up the culdesac across from us.
We just stood there, what the hell just happened. Did we really just see that? Was it really Henry? And then it gets worse. We can see the coyote in the road across the street and he is eating my cat.
We were torn and paralyzed. Do we chase him off? Do we really want to see our little Henry that way? Eventually, Karli took a shovel and went out to take a closer look and yes it was Henry, but he was completely gutted and Karli couldn’t bring himself to get any closer.
I can’t really describe to you how we felt at this moment. We were frozen. Then I was terrified for Oscar. He still hadn’t come home. I didn’t feel like I could just leave him out there. We came inside to think for a minute and after a few minutes, we looked outside and coyote had come and taken Henry out of the street and off into the woods. Maybe better that way?
Now it’s almost one in the morning. What do we do? I just laid there in bed and stared at the ceiling, my stomach churning. Neither one of us has really knows how to feel and is somewhat alarmed and concerned about the lack of tears and deep sadness.
I almost wonder if it has something to do with the abrupt and shocking instant closure. There was no wondering or worrying or trips to the vet. It just was what it was. Shocking, horrifying and so terribly awful that there is little left to feel.
We also struggle with what to tell Ada. Henry stayed pretty clear of the kids, preferring our company to that of high energy and grabby though gentle kids. I also didn’t really trust him with them as he has been known to get aggressive if he doesn’t like what you are doing so I didn’t encourage them with him the same way I did with Oscar and Pella. So, she hasn’t asked about him or for him. I don’t know how to handle this. Do I say something now or wait for her to ask about him? What story do I tell her? Some toned down version of the truth I think is best, but is it better just to leave it be unless she asks? I really just don’t know right now.
Our Henry was a wonderful cat. He was our first pet together and was with us for over 12 years. He loved to snuggle and was so happy for the love that he would forget to swallow and end up drooling all over you. He slept right between us each night and couldn’t wait for someone to sit down so he could claim your lap as his own. He had this way of smiling all the way to his eyes. Henry and Karli had a great bond and he was really Karli’s cat in the way that pets usually choose one to attach to. We miss him so much.
Click on the thumbnails below for full size images.
Goodbye my sweet boy.
This creates a lack of job performance recognition. I have been feeling undervalued lately. This is a rough time for us and although we are very lucky and blessed in our life, we are struggling right now.
Although it is a lot of pressure, all the responsibility for lifting me up and making me feel valued and validated falls on my husband and this is a little much for him, I think. Unfortunately, there is no one else to help carry this burden. It is his to bear, and I am sorry for that.
I tried to give him an analogy to help him to understand. I asked him to imagine that he went to work every day and no one there ever said he was doing a good job. It would be awful for him, and I think that it helped him to see the reality of the situation. This is our job and validation for being good at our job is just as important for us as it is for anyone else.
Unfortunately, now that I have spoken about it, we now struggle with how to provide me with the support I need without his compliments or statements sounding contrived and trite.
The great thing is that we can have this conversation at all. I feel very fortunate that I feel safe enough and loved enough that I can say that I need more from him. That says a lot about the strength of our relationship. Many don’t have this situation and live alone with all this.
There is this catch 22 about being a stay at home parent. At least for me, i feel guilty if I complain at all. I made this choice and I am very grateful for it, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have hard days, days that I wish I could crawl into bed and not get out till next week. When you have a job outside the home, you come home and discuss the things that are going well and the things that are hard at work. But when I do, i feel guilty. I feel guilty for not enjoying every moment with my children, guilty for complaining about a choice that has been a huge sacrifice for our family, guilty for wanting more for myself. And in response I usually get the suggestion that I go back to work.
I don’t need to go back to work, I need two days by a pool with a foofy umbrella drink or ten.
It is impossible for those not staying home to fully understand the joys and trials that we face every day. There are moments of pure bliss and moments when you feel like you have completely lost all value and substance. It is equally impossible for us to fully understand the stresses that working moms face trying to be and do it all and not feel like they are doing any of it very well.
The hard fact is that being a parent is hard. It just is.
We need to support one another, husband and wife, parent and child, friend and friend. We need to be compassionate and lift each other up and be there for each other, even if we aren’t all the same or make the same choices or parent the same way.
Hugs and kisses and flowers and all that crap.
Of course, right in the middle of nap time. Send your positive thoughts that Ian will get some sort of a nap today. I am hoping they call at 1:00 and say they are are on their way and then I can just keep him up until after they leave. Here’s crossing our fingers.
Pella has also had a big day. Since we are getting brand new beautiful couches, it goes without saying that Pella will no longer be invited to sit on them. But, our sweet boy is big and bony (rotty x great dane mix) and needs someplace extra comfy to sit to preserve his joints. He has also been spoiled his whole life with his own spot on the couch, which resulted in a ruined couch and seating for two.
Anyway, our spoiled pooch has just received in the mail today his very own dog couch. We did much research and chose the Bowser Double Donut – Extra Large
Upon its arrival, Pella immediated layed down in it and has refused to move since. He didn’t even let me fluff it up after taking it out of the box and so in the picture below his is all slumped down in the back of the bed, making it appear even more gigantic than it actually is.
Isn’t he sweet? He is a happy camper and that is all I could hope for him in making this difficult transition.
I have always said that it’s a damn good thing that they are so cute at this age or we parents might just lose our shit. There is nothing that can calm my frazzled nerves like a big smile from my littlest one. They have that touch built in, the ability to melt your heart in about 2 seconds. Lucky for him, I say. Hee hee, just kidding. Their perfect angels, really they are.
Is my kid a jerk, or is he just 2?
My son bullies me, insults his mother and once punched an old man in the nuts. I know it’s probably just a phase. But what if it isn’t?
By Christopher Noxon
This also got me ranting in my head about parents and really humans (well at least Americans) in general and how wooshy we have all gotten. Ooh, it gets me riled up, but we will save that for another post.
, which is one of Ada’s favorite picture books.
This is a lovely true story of two male penguins at the central park zoo, who have chosen each other as companions. As they look on as all the other penguin couples tend to their eggs and raise their young, they pine for one of their own.
Everything works out great in the end (I won’t ruin the story for you) and along the way you learn some pretty great lessons about love and family.
I think reading all the books on this list is a good idea. If a book is controversial enough to hit a list like this, then it must at leave have something to say – good, bad or otherwise. Next for me, I think, will be Candide
During the week we get into the normal routine and things are very predictable and structured. Daddy is only around for the first and last part of the day and they get a little bit of play time with him during that time. He loves to play with them, he’s way better and getting down on the floor and really playing than I am, and they look forward to this all day.
So this makes him fun Bobby and when he is home all day they just seem to be more amped up the whole time, like there is something new and exciting around every corner. I also think poor Karli feels like he has to be on all the time too, which isn’t the way it should be either.
Of course, I am not complaining at all. Having Karli home is wonderful and it is so nice to have another set of hands and to be able to do fun things as a family and to get projects done that I simply can’t do by myself.
But the weekend is winding down and my poor kids are about to implode. Ada is a whiny mess and Ian is all amped up one minute and crying in a puddle the next. I wish there was a way that fun and family time wasn’t so exhausting for them, and for us too.