The Redesigned Mom

I know that I have mentioned this maybe even several times in the past, but I just can’t get over how powerful it is when the same information comes at me from several unrelated sources. This always confirms for me that I am on the right track. Lately this phenomena is happening everywhere I look and so gives me confidence that although I sometimes feel like I am dangling from a hook, struggling to find solid ground as life zooms past me, everything is happening as it should and it helps me to trust myself and allow myself to be present to the changes happening in my life.

I picked up my Gabriel Method book this morning to reread some of the nutritional stuff as I have been concentrating on my mental health and identifying and eradicating my emotional blockage. I was looking through the monthly plans and nutritional information and realized that I am already doing everything in month 3, just naturally without thinking about it. How cool is that?

I’m not hungry. I use to always have some level of hunger, that “I could eat” feeling, pretty much all the time. Now I don’t even think about food until I’m actually hungry and sometimes even then I have to force myself to eat something because real hunger isn’t something that I am used to, it feels different – not so urgent.

It’s a funny thing about fear. Sometimes when you say it out loud and face it directly it recedes and sometimes even dissapears all together.

I would like to thank everyone for the unexpected and very much appreciated outpouring of support. Your words of encouragement made a really bad day a whole lot better and gave me the confidence to push past it. Thank-you.

I wish I could say my fear is gone forever, but alas that simply isn’t how it is in this case. But, by owning my weaknesses I have come to understand them a little better and can now move forward with my eyes open.

I really really want to weigh myself. I can’t help it, the scale just calls to me. I have put it away, but just because it is put away doesn’t mean I can’t go and dig it out. It is only the thought that I may get on the scale and that same number will still be there that is keeping me from it.

After just more than one week on the month one plan plus adding the recommended foods where appropriate, I am already seeing my cravings change. Less Diet Coke, more water and the other day we took the kids to ice cream in the afternoon and I didn’t even feel like having something sweet. I more wanted some cheese and bread, maybe some olives. Now, I did have the ice cream and it’s not like cheese and bread is so great for you, but that change in craving is a big one for me. I have always wanted something sweet.

Now, a few days later, I don’t really want to eat the breads at all. Last night we had garlic shrimp and pasta and I couldn’t even bring myself to eat the very small amount of pasta I put on my plate and today I took the kids to lunch and nothing really sounded good and I ended up tearing most of the bread off my meal and eating out just the center.