The Redesigned Mom

I know that I have mentioned this maybe even several times in the past, but I just can’t get over how powerful it is when the same information comes at me from several unrelated sources. This always confirms for me that I am on the right track. Lately this phenomena is happening everywhere I look and so gives me confidence that although I sometimes feel like I am dangling from a hook, struggling to find solid ground as life zooms past me, everything is happening as it should and it helps me to trust myself and allow myself to be present to the changes happening in my life.

Taking responsibility for my life means many things to me. Much of the big stuff like the wall I put up between myself and others and how angry I was and generally nasty sometimes are gone – vanished like some sort of magic. What’s left are those things that can make a huge difference in my day to day life. these include being organized and responsible for remembering what forms need to be filled out, that there is a fieldtrip tomorrow and I need to send sancks to school on Wednesday. It also means taking responsibility for my health and my body and finally doing what it takes to be a healthy, confident, beautiful woman.

Last week I spent three very long grueling days transforming my life. It may seem a lot to ask to completely transform your life in three measly days, but it happened. They said to commit to the process and it would happen for everyone, and it did.

Wow, I am a bundle of nerves right now. I have signed up to take the Landmark Forum seminar this weekend and I am really anxious right now. What’s funny is that it isn’t about having to confront emotions or dig deep into myself. That I am pretty comfortable with. It is more like the [...]

So, the story goes, it was laundry day and 106 degrees out and I needed something to throw on so I could wash my very limited supply of clothing appropriate for such a heat wave. I look up and there it is, hanging in my closet, just where it has been since the day it arrived. What the hey? and I put it on…

This process never ceases to amaze me. The weirdest stuff is happening to me. I squarely chalk this up to the fact that I must have had some serious stuff built up in my system as well as a significant amount of emotional blockage.

I picked up my Gabriel Method book this morning to reread some of the nutritional stuff as I have been concentrating on my mental health and identifying and eradicating my emotional blockage. I was looking through the monthly plans and nutritional information and realized that I am already doing everything in month 3, just naturally without thinking about it. How cool is that?

It’s funny how many things are pointing me in the right direction. Hmm that’s funny. I tend to write in stream of consciousness and then come back and edit and rewrite. What I meant to say was “the same direction” but what I wrote was “the right direction”. Guess that tells me something in and of itself.

Over this last week I have been noticing some subtle, yet important, changes in the way I feel. Because the emotional and self perception issues are so huge for me, I have vowed not to weigh myself or even measure myself until October. I am letting go of numbered results and concentrating on how I feel and healing myself.

Every year (for the past 15) over the Memorial Day weekend, a large group of friends from college go camping (if you can really call it that) at Banks Lake in eastern Washington. This year we had the best weather ever, 80s and sunny and perfect every day. It has never been better.

The problem with this was that I knew it was coming. Karli is kinda weather obsessed so we were watching the weather starting like 2 weeks before hand. Now how could knowing we were going to have beautiful weather the whole weekend be bad? It meant I needed to buy a bathing suit.