The Redesigned Mom

I can do this. I have been procrastinating and giving myself outs and making excuses for months because I was terrified of failing at this and now I know I can do this.

Never in my life did I think that I would become so paralized in my own skin, but I am working on it (and working on it and working on it). I was expressing my frustration at my continuing struggles at therapy the other day. I have licked the depression and anxiety, poof… gone. I have battled old demons, healed old wounds and gained unforeseen perspective. I have finally grown up and faced the real world. So why is everything still so hard?

Well, here it is. Today I begin a 25 day plan that is supposed to burn an extreme amount of fat in an extreme way.

At this point I am hopeful and skeptical at the same time. Although this is a 25 day fast fat loss program, it is no magic pill. This program is on the extreme end of the spectrum and will take some serious dedication to make happen. But, it’s only 25 days and I am in dire need of a metabolic shake up so I’m giving it a fully dedicated go.

Although the Gabriel Method didn’t “work” for me, the underlying principles are very sound and I don’t think it had anything to do with The Gabriel Method itself.  It was all me.  I had some serious emotional issues to deal with and large mental blocks standing in my way.  I couldn’t even see that it [...]

After several people have left very nice comments, but are also wondering what has happened to me and why I haven’t written anything in a while, I decided it is time for an update.

Before I get started there are a couple of things I need to say about Landmark for preface and transparency. I have taken the first two Landmark curriculum classes.  The Forum and The Advanced Course.  I also signed up for and completed the first work day of the third and final course (Self Expression and [...]

The last set of cards to discover are the latter half of the Major Arcana Cards. These cards include… XX Judgement XIX Sun XVIII Moon XVII Star XVI Tower XV Devil XIV Temperance XIII Death XII Hanged Man VIII or XI Strength (this card is swapped with Justice in some decks – for me it [...]

In the last reading the Pages and Knights warned me what to look out for, but they are also very good at delivering news about messages that may be coming.   This reading will examine what those messages might be and from whom? The Layout This card uses the Page and Knight of each suit, [...]

I know that I have mentioned this maybe even several times in the past, but I just can’t get over how powerful it is when the same information comes at me from several unrelated sources. This always confirms for me that I am on the right track. Lately this phenomena is happening everywhere I look and so gives me confidence that although I sometimes feel like I am dangling from a hook, struggling to find solid ground as life zooms past me, everything is happening as it should and it helps me to trust myself and allow myself to be present to the changes happening in my life.

Taking responsibility for my life means many things to me. Much of the big stuff like the wall I put up between myself and others and how angry I was and generally nasty sometimes are gone – vanished like some sort of magic. What’s left are those things that can make a huge difference in my day to day life. these include being organized and responsible for remembering what forms need to be filled out, that there is a fieldtrip tomorrow and I need to send sancks to school on Wednesday. It also means taking responsibility for my health and my body and finally doing what it takes to be a healthy, confident, beautiful woman.