A word of caution.  I have been generally cranky for the last week, so please don’t take my crotchetiness as a sign that this isn’t working.  In fact, I think that it is working quite well.  I have been working with my therapist with some things that have welled up some residual anger I am working through, but I also think my body might be going through some sort of detox process as well and this I know makes me cranky.

I really really want to weigh myself.  I can’t help it, the scale just calls to me.  I have put it away, but just because it is put away doesn’t mean I can’t go and dig it out.  It is only the thought that I may get on the scale and that same number will still be there that is keeping me from it.

I do know that all my pants are too big.  I am going to go shopping for new jeans on Friday.  We’ll see how it goes.  Unfortunately, I think I am now in between sizes, which totally sucks.   I hate shopping for pants almost as much as I hate shopping for swimsuits which I only hate half as much as shopping for dresses.  Did I say that I am not built like anything they use as a model for making clothes?  

I feel like my body has been battling itself this week.  Some of this is due to my own personal weaknesses and others is a sign that this program is working.

I have learned that I am not very good outside of my routine.  We had house guests this last week and I did pretty good through the first part of the day, but then as the day progresses, I would forget to drink water or take my supplements.  But, Monday morning came and I got right back on schedule and I guess that is really the important part.

The change in the kinds of foods that I am craving is really the most shocking thing to me.  We went out to dinner on Saturday night for a friend’s birthday and instead of ordering heavy carb-laden food, I ordered a small filet and a salad.  I did eat a little bit of an appetizer and several glasses of wine, but compared to how I would have indulged, this was  a big step.  The most surprising part was that this is what I wanted.  The thought of mashed potatoes or french fries was really not appealing at the time.

I am finding that in the afternoon my body is getting really confused.  This has always been the time of day that is most challenging for me.  I get really hungry, usually for sweets and then overindulge in random things around the house because I can’t find the perfect thing to satisfy this particular craving.  

This last week though, I have still been getting the feeling of hunger, but I can’t nail down what it is I’m hungry for.

 I go through my head…

sweet? no.  

Salty? no.  

Hmmm.  

Maybe I’m not hungry?  

But, I feel hungry.

I drink a glass of water and feel better for a few minutes.

Then, it creeps back in.

So, I must be hungry, but nothing sounds good.

It’s pretty frustrating.  Like right now, I am writing this and can’t stop thinking about what I can eat.  What I should do is have a good healthy snack, but that just sounds gross.  

I am hoping that this is part of the evolution and the hunger and ambiguity will dissipate soon.  

I also found out that I am having problems with my visualization cd.  Last night I actually stayed awake for a while into the cd and at some point before it was over, it just stopped.  I don’t know how long this is been happening or if it ever worked correctly, so that is discouraging.  I need to determine if this is a battery issue or an issue with the cd I burned before I go to bed tonight.  I did notice that my battery charger light wasn’t on when I went to get new batteries last night (yup, stopped half way through with new batteries).   

I have been very faithful about my body and next day visualizations before bed and right when I get up and find that the next day visualizations are really helping my productivity.  Balancing freelance work at home with care for the fam with all that that entails and trying to find time for myself in there as weel can be pretty challenging, but I seem to be handling it better and better each day.

During my visualization I focus on the large items that need to get done the next day, making sure to note that things will come easily and obstacles will be easily and effortlessly overcome.  I also make sure to include that I will remain calm and patient with the kids and enjoy all the little moments with them and that I will have adequate time to accomplish all that needs to be done as well as time to relax and take care of myself and have quality time with my kids and husband.  A lot to ask out of a day, but it is working.  Don’t underestimate what is possible.

I find the body visualizations a little more challenging.  I have my picture torn out of a yoga magazine of my perfect bod and I can see all the qualities in her that I want to have, but when I close my eyes I still see her.  I am finding it very difficult to visualize myself looking like that.  It’s a worth thing I’m sure, so I just paste my face on her body and keep trying.  It will come.  I am worth it and worthy of living the life I dream of in the body I create (Whew, I can say it out loud).

Overall, things are going pretty well, although not as great as I was hoping.  I am very impatient with this type of thing.  I constantly need to remind myself that this is a life change and it will take time and that each day I am learning and growing and taking steps in the right direction and that is what this is really all about.

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2 Responses to Gabriel Method – After Week 2

  • Just to let you know.. I went through the exact same thing with the gabriel method. I listened to the discs for 2 months with no results really except I knew I was different. I felt changed, started taking supplements but saw no change in weight. I also listened to the visualization disc nightly during this time. I could never see “her”. I could see her arms.. but never a full picture.. until about a month ago. It was a ding moment..and it was awesome. Since I was able to see ‘her’ i’ve dropped 12 lbs and started running! (i’m more than 100 lbs overweight). I was patient with myself, kept at it and didn’t get discouraged.. and it happened. I think what i was craving was patience and forgiveness and perseverance ..

    Stay with it.. be KIND in your self talk.. and it will come!

  • admin says:

    Thank you so much for this! Your encouragement means a lot. I will be writing in the next few days about where I am with The Gabriel Method. Congratulations on your success. Keep at it and hopefully soon I will have some good news to share too. I will be thinking about you, please keep us up to date on your progress!

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