I am more than slightly uncomfortable with the fact that Dr. Laura is the new spokesperson for stay at home moms. Her traditional value system and outdated theories certainly don’t represent me as a stay at home mom.
But with that said, I am glad that someone is speaking to and about stay at home moms. I have said before that I feel very fortunate to be in the position to stay at home with my kids and I do, but it was a choice that we made for our family because we felt that was what was best for our family.
This was a very significant sacrifice for us and we struggled financially for a long time. But with careful planning, stategic budgeting and a lot of self control, we have been able to not only survive, but thrive in our situation. Karli has worked so hard to advance his carreer so that we can build our life and provide for our kids.
And now that the kids are getting a little older there is an opportunity for me to remake myself professionally as well. I put my career on hold to stay at home and it is undeniable that I would have been very successful by now in that career. But, that doesn’t mean that I can never work or build a new career for myself. It just looks a little different now and for me that is the best thing that could have happened. I feel like I am going to get my cake and eat it too – a professional life that fits my lifestyle and the family life that we have chosen to build for ourselves.
Choosing to stay home has been the most rewarding and challenging thing I have ever done. It isn’t easy and I am certainly not lazy or stupid. I have heard that this is a common perception, but I have never experienced that. I work very hard and give of myself on an emotional level that I think is hard to understand or relate to unless you do stay at home. But I also reap the biggest rewards and I think my kids do as well.
But, I also don’t think it is productive to perpetuate the divide between stay at home and working moms. We all work very hard to care for our children in the way that works best for our families. My closest girl friends work outside the home and I have a great deal of respect for them and there choices just as they have respect for mine.
We often joke that we couldn’t imagine how hard it must be to do it the other way around and I think that says that we have made the right choices for us. Moms should support and respect each other, no matter what our circumstances are.
On somewhat of a side note…
A while back my step sister in law (is that the way I say it?) posted the article below on facebook. I felt this was a pretty good representation and until now forgot how much I wanted to share this with you all. Now seems like an appropriate time. Click on the image to make it big enough to read.