I believe that I am in the middle of learning some big life lesson and although I don’t have a complete handle on exactly what is going on I feel that it has something to do with learning to set boundaries and feel ok about stating what I need. When we discuss things going on in my life right now, there are some common threads (things that I keep saying over and over), including that I don’t feel that I am being heard as well as issues around boundary setting.
To get at the root of where these feelings are coming from, where in my past they originated, and how best to move past my issues and move forward in my life on a more directed and purposeful path, we are going to use a variety of techniques beyond just hashing it out over and over again.
I am having some pretty exaggerated emotional responses to the pretty straight forward issues I’m dealing with right now, so I think that there has to be something more going on here. Something from my past rearing its head or a brick wall that I have to fight through in order to learn a life lesson that will enable me to find that path to a fulfilling, balanced life that I so eagerly seek and find so elusive.
One of the therapy techniques we are using requires I come up with a simple memory from each year of my life. The memory should be neutral to positive and not induce any serious emotion of any sort, just a pleasant memory.
I can’t say that I totally understand how this is all going to work yet, but it sure was interesting making this list. Some years were definitely easier than others. There were some pretty dark areas of my life that I struggled to find a positive memory for. Not that great memories don’t come out of some of the darkest times, but finding something that wasn’t tied to someone or something that was going to dredge up the negative things associated with that time was sometimes rather tricky.
The numbers correspond with my age at the time and I have added the years in brackets once I hit my 20s because it is easier to reference it that way. My therapist said that when we hit our mid twenties we start identifying more with what year it is and less with how old we are. Makes sense, i guess, who wants to dwell on how old they are past 25, right?
This is what I came up with.
4 - Sitting on the hearth in front of the fireplace Christmas morning with my Grandpa in our Christmas jammies.
5 – Eating pomegranates on the playground
6 – Decorating my bike for the fourth of July parade
7 – Earthquake evacuation drills (we lived in northern California at the time)
8 – Meeting Lizzie on the first day of school
9 – Having pizza with my math teacher
10 – Building the pasture fence with my dad
11 – Braiding the horses manes with the other riders in my barn before horse shows
12 – My first kiss
13 – Going to Disneyland with my choir
14 – 9th grade graduation
15 – Riding in the back of Kris’s brat
16 – Braiding our hair at Tegan’s house
17 - Driving out to the valley in Joanne’s convertible listening to Violator
18 - The green shag carpet in my first apartment
19 - Watching 90210 at Lauri and Tiff’s
20 - Learning to Rock Climb in my systems class.
21 - Climbing a tree with Karli my first trip to Bellingham
22 - Drawing in art class
23 – Coming home from School everyday to Karli, Jason and Lucus on the couch
24 - Meeting Sarah
25 - Smoking Cigarettes in the garden behind CUH with Sarah
26 (99/00) – Propagating plants in the greenhouse. Oh, how I loved the greenhouse
27 (00/01)- Getting married
28 (01/02) – Buying our house
29 (02/03) – Taking my first business trip – to Las Vegas
30 (03/04) – Going to the cabin with Matt and Teresa
31 (04/05) – Sitting in the quad at the UW
32 (05/06) – Little Gym
33 (06/07) – Finding out I was pregnant, again
34 (07/08) – Our road trip to California
35 (present) – Karli and I building the deck
This was actually a really interesting and fun way to look back over my life. Remembering the past and sifting through all the emotionally charged memories in our lives to find those simple moments when all was right in the world is very therapeutic. I encourage you all to give it a try.
Right now I am reading The Last Lecture
But, it does making turning pages a little challenging, especially when you are trying to hold your place with one finger and turn back to an earlier page with the other.
In bed last night, I am quietly cursing to myself as the page I am looking for is eluding me due to pages sticking together and my general inability to turn the page at all.
Karli is all “use your index finger, what are doing? just use your index finger” and I’m like “what are you talking about, I have to use my thumb or I will lose my place.” “Huh?” is his reply.
This goes on for a while and finally we end in a fit of giggles and I return to reading my book.
Then I notice I am using my index finger to turn the page. I start to giggle and explain that we were both right. “Who would have thought there were such intricacies to turning pages.”
Amazon.com Widgets
I was on the Amazon associate website today and found this very cool widget. How fun, to share the music I am listening to right now. My taste in music travels with my mood and therefore varies considerably from day to day and week to week.
This week I have been feeling unable to choose for myself and in need of an energy boost, so what better to serve that purpose than the top tracks play list at Rhapsody. That’s why you will find the latest in club rage on this week’s list. This is a little outside the norm for me, but I genuinely enjoy each one of them.
Also on my list is the lovely Sara Bareilles
The Setup
This is a one card reading. To find the card we will relate the cards below to my card from reading #1.
For this reading we will be using the following cards…
King and Queen of each suit
0 – The Fool
XXI – The World
My card from Reading #1 is The Hermit.
My card for this reading is the King of Wands
The Answer
You are of a studious nature. You study everything around you, maybe too much sometimes.You assess and observe and take things apart and put them back together. People see you as someone to ask if in need of information or assistance. But sometimes the line can get long and you need a break. Your life will be full of departures from the norm. You may get too far away sometimes, but always return home.
May the truth you seek, seek you out.
This is a great quote. I hope my truth finds me soon.
The Card
King of Wands
My take: This is a firey red card. His crown dominates the image, rimmed with sharp metal horns. His eyes are striking and wise. The checkered floor has referred to a chess board in other cards, maybe in this card it is the same, which would indicate an intellectual underpinning. The sky is all orange and swirly, the astological wheel above and behind him. Four rods shoot fire into the sky. There seems to be turbulence around him, yet he is very grounded.
The card: The king of wands makes a difference in the world and represents politicians and leaders of all kinds. And as we see these type of people, the king is charismatic and controlling. He must control his environment and seeks to convince the world to see things his way.
Reading Analysis
The answer for this question lies in the combination of the two cards (the hermit and the king of wands). I am not one to see myself as someone to seek out for answers, but I do feel sometimes like everybody needs everything from me and that I don’t always have what’s needed from me to give out. I definitely analyse and over analyse everything around me. My head never shuts up. I am working very hard to learn simply how to be present in my life and to stop thinking about everything all the time so much. I could definitely use a break, that’s for sure.
Looking at the King of Wands by itself, I can also see how people could perceive me as controlling and trying to convince everyone that my way is best, although I don’t think this represents how I really am. I do like to control my own environment, there is no question about that, and I have very strong opinions that I don’t hesitate to share, but my goal is never to convince others to think like me or to control them in any way. I just really can’t help but put my two cents in. I know I can be a little strong sometimes and I sincerely apologize if I made anyone feel at any time, like I thought I new best or better than they.
We just returned from a weekend at Karli’s parents in Idaho so travel, and all the foods eaten this weekend that were outside of his norm, just put his bms on the fritz.
Have you got a good image yet? Yeah, chunky, loose, undigested food, the whole thing. Nasty.
Now, I have no poop aversion. I have two kids. You don’t have kids without getting over poop being gross, but I have to say this was the worst, most disgusting thing I have had to do in a very long time.
I can’t even go into the details, it just shouldn’t be said out loud.
Karli just looked over at me and asked me what the grimace on my face was all about. I guess it still curls my nose.
Gotta say though, the tub’s never been so clean.
So, the concept is that they air pop the chip. They have popped corn chips and popped potato chips. I’ve seen them the last couple trips to trader joes, but haven’t had any desire to do anything low anything. I’m an emotional eater.
Finally starting to recover from this roller coaster of a summer, I have reluctantly been looking for ways to cut back on my calories a bit. But, a girl still needs her salty oily snack (and chocolate too of course, but I still haven’t figured out how to do that low cal) so I decided to give these a try. And we have a winner!
These popped treats are suprisingly good. I chose the BBQ flavor, as something low cal is always better with a punch of flavor. Unlike like their cardboard flavored baked cousins, these chips actually taste like potato chips.
It’s very odd though, don’t get it in your head that these are anything like a real potato chip. It is really more the texture of a dense funion, which in my book isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But, whatever they are, they taste like a real potato chips. And, the BBQ seasoning rocks.
I’m not sure about other brands, but the Trader Joes brand has nothing funky it. It’s just potatoe, oil and seasoning. No baking or frying. no preservatives and no shit stain producing pseudo oils.
I would love to be able to link you to a Trader Joes BBQ flavored Popped Potato Chip information page, but alas, nothing like that exists. So, this is what I’m gonna do.
and…
I am pretty sure (I have absolutely NO proof at all of this – it’s just a little too similar to look past) that TJs licenses these chips from PopChips.
I have always said that it’s a damn good thing that they are so cute at this age or we parents might just lose our shit. There is nothing that can calm my frazzled nerves like a big smile from my littlest one. They have that touch built in, the ability to melt your heart in about 2 seconds. Lucky for him, I say. Hee hee, just kidding. Their perfect angels, really they are.
Is my kid a jerk, or is he just 2?
My son bullies me, insults his mother and once punched an old man in the nuts. I know it’s probably just a phase. But what if it isn’t?
By Christopher Noxon
This also got me ranting in my head about parents and really humans (well at least Americans) in general and how wooshy we have all gotten. Ooh, it gets me riled up, but we will save that for another post.
I was really tired today, for some reason, so really wanted to stick with a one dish meal, so I proceeded with the doctoring.
This was a huge hit with both kids and Ian even at the veggies. Huge! He refuses almost all veggies.
A Better Can of Chicken Noodle Soup
1 can chicken noodle soup
1/4 cup small cubes of the meat of your choice*
1/4 cup frozen peas
1/4 cup finely diced carrots (I chopped up those new bagged shredded carrots and it worked great)
Put it all in a small pan or microwavable bowl. Heat and Serve.
* I used left over pork taco meat and it added just a little bit of Mexican flavor to the soup, which they loved. Any leftover meat with a little seasoning on it would work great for this, ground meat, chicken, pork, whatever. If the meat isn’t seasoned or you have to cook fresh, try adding just a pinch of taco seasoning or some Mrs dash or something.
Birthdate: 8-4-1961
8+4+1+9+6+1=29=2+9=11
Numerology states that Obama’s path of life or birth force is 11.
Inspiration is the key word associated with the number 7 birth force.
11 is a master number, which is a big deal in the numerolgical world. He belongs in the public eye. He is intuitive and intelligent with success coming from your leadership and influence of society. He inspires others through his example and would make a great teacher, writer, reformer, psychologist or peacemaker. There are very high expectations for him. He must beware of selfishness, indifference and conceit.
Although I feel that the master number 11 is aptly placed in the able hands of Mr. Obama, there is also the option that this is a 2 (1+1), so I will cover that as well. The number two is all about cooperation. This person works well in partnerships and groups and is kind and thoughtful. This person is a diplomat and peacemaker and is very detail oriented, but prefers to stay in the background. I guess that last one rules Obama as a 2.
This explains why so many are drawn to him and why he has come so quickly to where he is today. Let’s hope he can live up to all those expectations.
And where is Obama now in this life journey?
According to Numerology, Barack Obama is in the first year of his fourth attainment. An attainment can tell us about the upcoming events in our lives. There are four attainments in life, each telling us what experiences we will have during that period of our lives.
To find the number for Obama’s fourth attainment we use his birth date again.
Birth Month # 8
Birth Year # +8
equals = 16 = 1+6 = 7
Knowledge, philosphy, analysis, seclusion and understanding. Interest in the deeper meaning in things. Education and the increase of knowledge. This gain in knowledge will bring success. It is time for deep inquiry.
And what are 2008 and 2009 going to be all about?
2+8=10=1
2+9 = 11 (usually you would reduce again, but 11 is a special number)
2008 is a 1 year. This indicated all things new. Pioneering and new discoveries are prevalent. Activity is high.
2009 is an 11 year. This indicates an increased interest in religion and spirituality. Inventions and idealism are abundant.
hmmmm. This explains the call for change, but the latter makes me a little nervous with the extreme right having so much power. Things look good for Obama, but it doesn’t look like the christian right are going anywhere any time soon.