No, my son isn’t walking yet. Thank god :)

I am talking about taking small steps toward the life that I choose. I find that when I look at the big picture as a whole, I get really overwhelmed. There is so much that I want to do and change that it just wades me down and paralyzes me. Theres stuff with the house, my health, the kids, the cleaning, what I am going to do about this and that and that and that.

So, I am trying to keep things in perspective and take life one step at a time. This is a process and not something that needs to happen overnight.

For example, this week I cleaned out two of the cabinets in my bathroom. This may seem a small thing, but for the last several months I would walk into the bathroom and say to myself “this is aweful, i need to clean out this old stuff” but then never do it.

I also washed all the hardwood floors this week. Now, I sweep and wet swiffer on a regular basis but the floors hadn’t been given a deep clean since before Ian was born.

I went to the gym twice this week as well.

Although these are small things, they are something and that is an improvement in and of itself. So my goal is to just do some things. Get up off my butt and do something I wouldn’t normally do every day.

As I write this, i realize I am sounding like a lazy apathetic person. This is not the case. I play an active roll in my life and in the lives of my kids. I am a good mom, I just feel like I am just getting by and wading through my life rather than flourishing and growing and being truly happy with who I am and where my place in the world is. I want more and am going out to get it.

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