The Redesigned Mom

A Stay at Home Mom’s Journey to Self Fulfillment

Cool Puzzle

I have been playing with jquery a lot lately for several projects I am working on and I came across this really cool jquery slide puzzle.

jQuery Demo: Creating A Sliding Image Puzzle
Photo Jquery Slide Puzzle

My Son Ian at Banks Lake 2009

The State of the Union

I came into this State of the Union address feeling angst and disappointment.   Disappointed in the President for not being stronger and the democrats in congress for being spineless and disgust at the pettiness of politicians on both sides of the aisle.  But mostly I feel pain for my fellow Americans and intense confusion at why we find it so difficult to care for one another.

We gather our pennies and reach into the deepest realms of our pockets and purses to help those in Haiti and our generous spirit also reaches out to disaster victims here at home in such profound ways.  We even go out of our way to help our neighbors when they are suffering, yet we refuse to provide even the most basic of health care for those that struggle among our own people and see educating our children as somebody else’s problem.

Caring for one another doesn’t just mean coming to the rescue when disaster strikes.  It means supporting one another, being tolerant of each other and lifting each other up so that we can all succeed and thrive.

I wish I shared the presidents hopefulness for our future, especially since I was so hopeful when he was elected.  I wish I saw more of this decency and resilience and care for one another that he sees.  This is a risky thing to say and please don’t bash me or call me names.  I do believe we are strong and the wheel of time will continue to turn and we will keep fighting and prevailing.  It simply pains me to see the state we are in right now, that’s all.

I wrote the following as notes to remind myself of what was going on during the speech so I would have talking points when writing this, but really with a little editing the running commentary was entertaining and compelling in it’s own right, so I left it like that.

Here we go…

Jobs gets everyone to their feet. Obviously we can all agree that creating jobs is a huge issue for the upcoming year.  Of course the differing ideas of how to accomplish that become painfully obvious when the most innovative, creative and I think best ideas are presented, the whole republican side of the room just sat there shaking their heads.

I like the idea of providing community banks funds to loan to small businesses.   This not only helps small businesses, but community banks are moderately small businesses too and this lifts them up in this economy as well.

And please please please can we please take away tax breaks for shipping jobs overseas.  Granted it might make things slightly more expensive, but it will provide jobs here and really, it is about time for all of us to get real with what things cost and what we can afford.

They need to find a better color of makeup for him.  He looks jaundiced.  His hands are this lovely caramel color and his face is the color of bile.   Get on it folks.

Nuclear power plants huh?  Off shore drilling?  bio-fuels and clean coal.  Who said he doesn’t listen to ideas from across the aisle?

Love the dig on climate change.  ”Those that disagree with the overwhelming scientific evidence on climate change”.  If we want to be the global power we see ourselves as we need to lead on a global level.  Set a good example on clean exports.  Increase exports.

Now I am  going to go off here for a minute and I understand that many will disagree with me and even get angry and want to say something nasty just to mix it up, but you aren’t going to change my mind about this so really, why bother?

Funny how the republicans want the “average American” to think that they are in their corner, yet any time something comes up that would help the “average American” or “hurt” big business, the republicans sit shaking their heads in disgust that the needs of the American people would come ahead of the greed of corporate America.

How so many are fooled by their retoric just blows my mind.  They aren’t interested in helping you keep your job or earn more money or put your kids through college or pay your medical bills.  They just aren’t.  What they say and what they do doesn’t mesh up and you all need to open your eyes.  Their only interests lie in discrediting democrats, getting reelected and lining the pockets of their monetary supporters.

Ok, I’m done.  Let’s get on with it.

“The best anti-poverty plan around is a world class education”.  Revitalize community colleges – Awesome!  Wow, big tax credit.  No more than 10% of income on student loans with forgiveness after 20 years or 10 if public servant.  Seems like a decent start, but doesn’t even put a dent in it.  I also think that continuing to throw money at this problem rather than reforming from the bottom up isn’t going to solve anything long term.  But that is a whole different discussion.

Health care reform must happen.  Duh.  Did her really wait this long to discuss this?

Hey!  There’s Gary Locke.

Side Rant Begin…

Small government you want?  Why then did the surplus turn into the biggest deficit ever?  Fact.

Don’t tell me what to do, you say?  But making choices about who I love, what I do with my body and whether my kids learn legitimate science in school is OK?

Let the states make these choices.  In my opinion fundamental rights are a place where the federal government should step in so that all of our citizens can depend on quality and affordable health care and an education that will further them in their lives.

Social security.  Why can’t we just lift the limit on social security tax.  It has been said that this would totally fix the problem and that a huge majority of Americans agree that this is what we should do, but yet it isn’t even on the table?

Side Rant End…

Hey!  There’s Patty Murray.

“It’s time to try something new”.  Common sense, a novel concept.  Invest in our people, imagine that.  The old way is no longer working.  Like a wise man once said, Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results.

I appreciated that he spoke boldly and directly to both democrats and republicans.  To democrats, we have the largest majority in decades and the people expect us to govern, not run for the hills.  Come on you guys, get some work done and quit being a bunch of pansies (my words not his).  And to republicans, quit acting like children (my words not his).  Saying no to everything may be good short term politics, but it isn’t leadership.  It is time to govern and stop the petty political nonsense.

After listening to the speech I feel it was very good as his speeches usually are and I even found myself buying into this hope he spoke of at the beginning.  The hope that politicians will somehow overcome the status quo and see things reasonably.  That the lies will end and the republicans will see governing the people as a higher priority than destroying the democrats.  That the democrats will stand strong in their convictions.

And then I came back to the real world as I discussed the commentary with my husband.  Seems they both think that a week from now nobody will remember a word he said and that the hope that anything will change any time soon is naive and fool hearty.

What will it take to pull us out of this mess we are in?  What will it take to put the American people first?

This American citizen is cynical and angry, but like President Obama I have the slightest glimmer of hope that the strength and love of the American people will somehow prevail.  My heart is heavy and my mind cluttered.

Landmark Education – My Personal Opinion and Experience

Before I get started there are a couple of things I need to say about Landmark for preface and transparency.

  1. I have taken the first two Landmark curriculum classes.  The Forum and The Advanced Course.  I also signed up for and completed the first work day of the third and final course (Self Expression and Leadership Program – SELP) before ending my relationship with Landmark.
  2. I got it.  Landmark transformed me just as promised.
  3. I think that Landmark has a lot to offer just about everyone.

Ok, now that that is out of the way I also have to say that I strongly disagree with many of their practices.

The teachings are incredible and if you can give yourself over to the process then amazing things can happen in your life.

  • I have found and asked for forgiveness
  • I have released a ton of my baggage and see my past for what it was and not what I made it into.
  • I have new clarity on why I have acted the way I have, chosen the relationships I have chosen and made the choices I have made.
  • I can see what is holding me back and where my failures have come from.
  • I have learned how to express gratitude and ask for help.
  • I am more comfortable with discomfort.
  • My fear is subsiding.
  • I have joy in my life.
  • I have a new level of confidence  and know that I am fully prepared for whatever lies ahead and that what lies ahead is whatever I dream it could be.
  • So so much more.

You would think with all that and more I would be shouting from the rooftops that everyone should absolutely stop whatever they are doing right now and sign up to take these courses.  Unfortunately every time I speak of Landmark I have to add a ton of caveats about the downsides of this company.

Along side a very good curriculum is a very poor marketing plan.  They are constantly pushing you to bring people to the program.   And the further you get in the better the curriculum gets and the more they push bringing people in.   It is distracting and unnecessary and I have told them so.

I spent a lot of time during the Advanced course being angry about this, but I also try to remind myself that everything they do is orchestrated to bring up certain emotions and help you face your fears.  And the expectation of bringing people to the program definitely did that for me, ultimately helping me break my cycle with expectation and failure.  So, it’s not all bad.

But, I think all that could be accomplished without pressuring me to market the program for them.  I had serious work to do and all that bullshit was distracting from that.

The thing I don’t think they realize is that our stories are their best marketing tool and if they just gave us room to tell our stories to those we think might benefit from their program without any pressure or deception they might open up new space for themselves and be able to take their company to the next level.  Seems like they need to take some of their own advice.

If you are considering taking these classes please be aware of these tactics and just put them aside.  If you just let it go, give yourself over to the process and don’t take it too seriously there are tremendous benefits to be gained from taking this challenge on.

Always best to know what your getting into, I think.

If your interested…

How I Quit Smoking – The Easy Way

With New Years here and resolutions on everyone’s mind and such, I thought this might be a good time to share how I quit smoking.  Why I think that it is important to share how I quit smoking is that it was easy, really easy.   It has also been a while now, so I know for sure that it worked and I am never going back. I never even had a moment of withdrawl and when I put the last one out I never looked back.

This isn’t to say that I don’t think about smoking or see someone smoking and wish I could have one, because I do.  I almost see this as a plus.  I know so many people who quit that can’t stand to be around anyone who smokes or smell cigarettes at all.  I actually enjoy the smell of cigarettes, like the comfort of an old friend and I can happily stand and talk with people smoking.  And, even though it smells good and sounds like a great idea, I have no problems just saying “No thanks, I don’t smoke”.

This didn’t happen exactly overnight, but almost.  There was a time or two at the very beginning where I was out and drinking with friends where I caved and had a smoke.  But, I regretted it and it didn’t even really do anything for me and I had no problem never having another.

If you are still a smoker then you are probably thinking right now that I must have been a casual smoker or just be one of those people that can just turn it off.  This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I became a smoker when I was fifteen years old.  This is not when I started experimenting or casualy smoking, this is when I became a smoker.  I would say that I smoked on average about 1/2 a pack a day when I started out and I peaked at about 1 1/2 packs a day, which I sustained for many years.  After college, I cut back down to a 1/2 pack a day and kept at that for many more years.   Overall, I was a smoker for close to 20 years.

I tried to quit many times and not once was successful for any significant period of time.  The only time I went more than a couple of weeks was when I was pregnant and that was only because it was for my child and not me.  I had a tremendous amount of shame associated with being a smoker and was really motivated to quit, but I also loved it and cherished the process and the time and the act of smoking.  I loved smoking and deep down I’m not sure I really wanted to quit, but I knew that I had to – for me and for my kids.  

But I had no idea how I was possibly going to make it happen.  I was scared that I would never be able to kick it for good and that every day for the rest of my life I would deal with wanting to have a smoke.

Then I heard about this book.  I had heard of people who had had success with it and then I read many of the gazillion reviews on Amazon and said why not try one more thing.  I really didn’t think it was going to work, nothing had before.

So I read it and then I read it again and that was it.  I was no longer a smoker.

Sounds crazy, I know.  But it works.

What book you ask?

The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr

This book helped me to quit smoking for good without withdrawal or regret.  I am so happy to be free of such a huge burden.

Do understand that there is no method here or new information.  Don’t look for the magic pill.  Just read the book and do what it says.  That’s it.

I encourage anyone who wants to quit smoking to read this book.  Just click on the link above and check out the amazon reviews and then judge for yourself.

The Best Day

Ok,  call me a total cheese dog and I really can’t believe I am admitting to the world that I listen to Taylor Swift — We all have our weaknesses :) —  but give me a break here, I’m pulling the sentimental mom card.

As a mom and someone who loves there mom dearly, this song makes me cry every time I hear it – every time.

Mom, I love you so much.

Mom Tip: Smelly Washer

So, a few months ago I was contacted by a representative of Smelly Washer.

Sometimes as a blogger people will contact you and want you to partner with them or review their products.  I usually don’t accept these offers, but this guy happened to hit me at the perfect time.

For months I had been complaining about how my towels smelled like mildew when I got out of the shower.  I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what was causing it.  I nagged Karli about not letting the laundry sit in the washing machine and I bitched about the bathroom fan not being effective enough, but no amount of bitching and moaning or even changes in habits seemed to fix the problem.

Now, I would like to apologize to the smelly washer people for taking so long to post this review.  There were a couple of thing at play here including this last couple of months simply getting away from me.  I haven’t written much of anything and I regret taking so long to fulfill on this commitment.

I also wanted to use the product as suggested and give it time to see if it was really working or just a quick fix.

When my bottle of smelly washer arrived* I used it as directed. I ran a cleaning cycle through the washer and then added some in with my towels.  After one use, my towels smelled fresh and clean.  But would they stay that way?

Well, I am happy to say that after several months my towels continue to smell fresh, even when I leave them in the washer a little too long or forget to run the fan in the bathroom after a shower.

It recommends running a cleaning cycle through your washer once a month. I have also read some people talking about putting a little in with every load. Although I think doing a maintenance wash cycle every couple of months is probably a good idea, I haven’t experienced that putting it in with every load is necessary at all.

I would recommend giving this product a try if you have smelly towels or a smelly washer.

Recently Komo 4 (Seattle ABC affiliate) ran a story about front end washers and mold that grows that gives off a stinky odor.  I thought this was timely and so I will share it in this article along with some other useful links…

KomoNews Story: Stinky washers give consumers the ‘willies’

More Info about Smelly Washer

Purchase Smelly Washer from Amazon

*I legally have to say here that I received this bottle free of charge with the understanding that I would review the product on this blog.  I was in no way told what to say or even that I had to give it a good review.  I used this product as directed and have given my honest opinion of how it worked in my particular circumstances.  I am in no way affiliated with smelly washer and do no take any responsibility for how it may or may not work for you.

Self Inventory #23 – Who am I Deep Down Inside

The last set of cards to discover are the latter half of the Major Arcana Cards. These cards include…

Tarot Reading

XX Judgement
XIX Sun
XVIII Moon
XVII Star
XVI Tower
XV Devil
XIV Temperance
XIII Death
XII Hanged Man
VIII or XI Strength (this card is swapped with Justice in some decks – for me it is VIII)

These cards deal with the inner workings of our hearts and souls and help us to discover and expand our spiritual and psychological breadth. While looking at my cards I find them especially beautiful — Alluring and dark, mysterious and light filled. Very cool.

The Setup

The Spirit card corresponds to the Key card discovered in Reading 1.

Key Card: IX The Hermit
Spirit Card: XII The Hanged Man

The Card

XII Hanged Man

You are driven. Outwardly the hermit and internally the hanging man, you are and independent spirit. You are self-motivated and directed and sometimes a little self-centered. You are you biggest ally and your worst enemy. You battle yourself, finding the slightest failure unforgivable and always striving to become better – a perfectionist to the core. You are consumed by your truth, always reinventing yourself. You just get how things work which enable you to think out of the box and have people hear you.

Analysis

This is actually pretty accurate, although I think that these tendencies work against me more often than for me. These traits, mixed with my upbringing have created many many problems in my life. I just need to learn how to use these skills for my benefit and learn to give myself a break now and then.

Self Inventory #21 – What’s in the Mail?

In the last reading the Pages and Knights warned me what to look out for, but they are also very good at delivering news about messages that may be coming.   This reading will examine what those messages might be and from whom?

The Layout

This card uses the Page and Knight of each suit, the Fool 0 and the World X

Shuffle the cards, concentrating on the question.  When you feel the cards are done, deal them out one at a time until you turn over the Fool or the World then stop.

The Question: What message will I receive?

The Spread

  1. Page Swords
  2. Knight Swords
  3. XXI World

The Answer

A clear and definitive message is being sent right now that will renew your enthusiasm and motivation.

Wow, that would be nice!

The Cards

Page of Swords

My Take*: Young woman, strong eyes, fancy hat.  armored yet beautiful, hard yet refined.

The Card: Curious and fervently seeking knowledge yet scattered and unfocused.  An idea in its infancy.  Focus your energy on gaining knowledge about the situation through messages containing information.

Knight of Swords

My Take*: The knights horse is a pegasus taking flight.  This is echoed through the wings on his helmet.  This card is swift and a little reckless.

The Card: The winged horse represents the flight of the mind and the potential of the minds capabilities.   Intensely focused on the goal, so much so that tolerance and patience go out the window.  This is a card of action.  Patience and determined focus are needed for success.

XXI World

My Take: The coming together of all the elements to bring about the conclusion of something.  The culmination of lessons learned leading to a new cycle.

The Card: The end and the beginning.  We see things as they are.  Enlightenment.   Transformation. Wholeness.  Being aware of your limitations.

Analysis

This book is fun and silly and sometimes enlightening in its reading, but lets not kid ourselves that it is the most serious or thorough of interpretations.

I do find these cards very interesting though.  If you look at them as a classic three card spread with past present and future represented then they are very encouraging.    I have always know there was great potential for me, but have never been able to focus enough to fully explore it.  I have been scattered and distracted.

All the work I have been doing has seemed to come together around this ability to focus and the meaning behind why I can’t and what I can do to reprogram my way of thinking about my goals and success and/or failure.  The combination of my work at therapy and the upcoming Forum Advanced Course give me ample opportunity to improve this situation dramatically.

The goal is wholeness and transformation.  The presence of the World card leads me to believe that this goal is a real possibility.

* When I am first learning a card, the my take section is only based on what I can see in the card and not based in any foundation or previous knowledge.  Do not use these descriptions as being anywhere near the truth.

The Small Stuff

People always say not to sweat the small stuff, but sometimes it’s the small stuff that can make he biggest difference.

This summer I have been trying to do little things around the house just to make life simpler or prettier or just nicer in some way.  It’s funny what can change your life in a small yet very significant way.

calendar

I am not the most organized of people and with two kids in two different schools this year, I figured I needed to create a way to keep track of who needed to be where, what forms needed to be filled out and returned and what days I have a meeting or Karli is going to be home late etc etc etc.

With school starting last week this has really been my first introduction into the crazy schedule of a family of four.  To help me stay on track, I dedicated a wall in my kitchen to family organization.  I have two white board calendars as well as cork boards and white boards for notes and forms and stuff.  I even found a stick on post-it dispenser and some really cute orange cube push pins.

My office supply fetish is definitely satisfied on this one.  We even have a different color pen for each member of the family.

kitchen_window

Another addition to my kitchen is the hanging fruit basket.  This worked out really well, providing plenty of room for all the fruit bowl items and keeping the onions and garlic separate from the fruit.  By finding a creative solution to the overflowing fruit bowl we also cleared up some much needed counter space, which is at a premium in my tiny kitchen.

Cleaning out the garden window which had previously been filled with all my poor suffering house plants cleared enough space to start an herb garden in that window which had always been the plan and only took me 8 years to get around to.  We also gave the window sill a fresh coat of paint which really brightened it up.  It is so nice to be able to look out that window and see the kids playing in the back yard.   I don’t know if I ever thought we would get there.

pantry

Probably the biggest kitchen impact came from the addition of this giant pantry unit.  We finally got the extra shelves we needed and the drawers we forgot to buy the first time around and it is now complete and a fully functional pantry.  Having this extra space makes all the difference in a tiny house with little storage.   And I finally have all my little plastic storage containers with labels and everything.  Mmmmm, it makes me all warm inside.

house_plants

And yes, those suffering house plants (there are many more) have finally found legitimate homes throughout the house.  I look forward to watching them finally thrive and grow.  Only a few weeks later they are already looking very very happy.  They even all got matching pots in complimentary colors.

It is really amazing how much more alive and homey my house feels now.   Having the youngest to an age where he no longer feels the need to tip the plants over and dig in them is a great relief to both them and me.

towel_rack

And last, but certainly not least is the new over the door towel rack in the main bathroom.  There has never been a really good place for a towel rack in this bathroom and since I am sharing this bathroom with the kids for the time being, where to put he towels has been an ongoing struggle and trial and failure.

But here it is, my big beautiful towel rack.  Like I said, it’s the smallest things that make the biggest difference.  Ahhh!

Dealing With Matted Hair in Animals

Our poor Oscar the cat has been dealing with mats for the first time this summer.   He has never had this problem before so I was surprised when several pretty large mats showed up on his back (at the tail end) seemingly out of nowhere.

It could be that he is getting old or that  Henry is no longer here to lick his back (he regularly bathed Oscar) or it could simply be because he has been laying in the dirt all summer, although that is not so unusual so who knows.

Anyway, the thought of shaving the poor guy wasn’t something I was too fond of, but he was really uncomfortable so we were looking into that.  In the meantime, I set out on a search for any other ideas out there and came across someone recommending putting baby oil on the mats and they would just fall out.

Well, I was a little skeptical and didn’t think that baby oil was such a good idea when cats lick themselves so much.  But, without much to lose I tried a little olive oil, which wouldn’t hurt him should he lick it.  With the first one, I wasn’t even really sure whether it worked because I couldn’t find it or remember exactly where it was.  So I did the largest one next and within a few days it was gone.  Hmmm.

I wasn’t sure how this was working, whether it undid the mat or made it fall off, but they were gone so I did another one.  This time we actually found the mat on the floor so it appears that they are falling off.  Strange, but a few oily days and he is mat free and a whole heck of a lot more comfortable.

So, Here it is in a nutshell..

Remove Matted Fur in Cats and Dogs

  1. In a small dish, put a tablespoon or so of Olive Oil or Vegetable Oil.
  2. Get a cotton ball or cotton swab.  It needs to be something pretty absorbent and easily squeezed.   Softness is also a key as these are very tender for your animal and being gentle is really important.
  3. Dab the cotton ball in the oil and gently dab it at the base of the mat until fully coated.  Be very gentle, but you may have to gently hold your animal in place to get this done.  You do not need to get the underside of the mat, moving the mat that much could be very painful.
  4. Wait a couple of days and check to see if it is gone.
  5. Continue to be gentle in that area as the skin where the matted fur was will still be tender for a while.
  6. Once all the matted fur is gone and your animal has had ample time to heal, give them a good brushing and don’t forget to do it regularly to try to avoid this in the future.  This last step is something I am definitely going to need to work on.

Note: If there are multiple mats you may want to treat them one or two at a time.  This is only because this is oil that you are dealing with and it can be a little messy.  By only doing a small spot at a time you may minimize the mess.  I also found that if I applied the oil right before we went to bed, I could localize most of the oil spots to the place where he sleeps at night and not all over the house.  Another tip, rub a little dish soap into the stains before washing the item with the oil spots to help loosen the oil from the fabric.